Friendships are among the most important
relationships you’ll have in your life.
Many of your golden memories probably include times
you’ve spent with friends.
A friend is someone who:
- you can trust, won’t judge you
- won’t deliberately hurt your feelings,
but will show kindness and respect
- will love you not because they feel they
have to, but because they choose to
- you can depend on, who is loyal and
whose company you enjoy
- will be there no matter what your
situation is
- is trustworthy and not afraid to tell
you the truth, no matter how hard it is sometimes
- can laugh when you laugh
- will cry when you cry
- makes you smile
- accepts you for who you are, and lend
you an ear when you need to whine or complain
- will give you room to change
But having friends can be hard work sometimes, when
they get on your nerves or when they’re going through a tough time.
Not knowing what to do or say to help them can be
frustrating and emotionally challenging. However, doing your best to make them
feel better shows you care about being a good friend.
How can You be there?
1) Listen – try to understand the situation from
your friend’s point of view. This way you’ll know the right sort of questions
to ask and they’ll know you care about how they feel.
2) Advice – Don’t assume your friend wants advice
because sometimes all they need is someone to listen. If you feel out of your
depth, advise them to talk to a professional, and offer to be there to support
them. Check out the face-to-face help section for more on what help is out
there.
3) Protect them from themselves – if you think a
friend is taking serious risks, like experimenting with drugs or alcohol, you
may need to act without their consent to get them help. If you’re worried about
your friend’s reaction, just remember it’s because you care about them and
don’t want them to get hurt.
4) Show you care – if your friend is going through a
tough time, write them a letter or a poem showing how special they are to you.
Remind them that no matter how tough things get, you’ll be there for them
because that’s what friendship is about.
5) Keep in touch – if you can’t physically be with
your friend when they need you, send them an email, chat to them online or make
a quick phone call to show you’re thinking about them.
6) Don’t forget yourself – supporting a friend
through tough periods can put pressure on you, and it can help to talk to
someone about it. This might be a teacher, counsellor, family member or another
adult.
Check out the services explained section for more details on who to contact for
help, for you or your friend.
7) Know your limitations – there’s only so much you
can do for a friend going through serious problems. You can’t fix
everything, so if professional help is necessary, encourage your friend to seek
it out.
